The Hurricane Named Confusion

At first, there was no help and now, I'm getting so much help its like standing in a hurricane. Information spills like rushing torrents from both sides now, and my poor rattled little brain is having trouble finding solid ground to stand on. I can't even begin to know their motives, let alone whether they even involve me. Insurance companies are supposed to have your back to some degree right? Granted this has not been my experience in every situation I've had to deal with them. In short, I only know what happens when you get screwed over. I am too damned tired to deal with shenanigans this time around. All I want is my car back. Seriously. I LOVE my Honda.

Currently I am driving a little Chevy provided by an insurance company, so I can actually get to work. And Home... another places I need to get to. Its like driving a tiny sedan... It should handle lighter, but it doesn't. Of course I'm biased. I've been driving a light weight little car for a while now. There's a real difference in how they handle, and its weird. I don't know how long its going to take for the Honda to get fixed. Hopefully not that long. I'd really rather not drive the rental more than I need to.

Ah yes, and then there was the doctor's visit. After the accident, my right hand was flopping around like a dying fish, and my left was steady as a rock. I was concerned, and so was the Sheriff who was on scene first. Enough to call for the EMTs. They said I was alright, but I should get checked out. Thus I found myself perched upon the exam table, while my doctor checked my shoulder over, and came to the conclusion that I've got whiplash.. just not in my neck, and its causing fine motor control issues with my right hand. Which means I can drive and do big things, but if I try to hold a pen or pencil, or use a fork/spoon, my hand falls back to doing the palsy maneuver. Writing is sort of a challenge as my hand jerks to a stop instead of flowing smoothly along like usual.

I was just going to concentrate on doing my job this summer. No need to worry about school in the fall, etc. In fact I had signed up for an Art class I'd been wanting to take for a while now because, gee, I've got some free time. Now I'm sort of concerned I won't be able to use the pencil like I usually do when I draw. I'm on anti-inflammatory medication, and am scheduled to do physical therapy to make sure the muscle heals right. My doctor seemed to think this was temporary, and I think so too, as its not doing the wobble all the time now. Just sometimes.

I've had so many experiences over the years that involve everything going down the crapper, that I'm really not even phased by this. So much so that one of my friends couldn't understand why I was so damned cheery about this. Life is too short to get worked up over this stuff. It really is. Its exhausting when you hang on to all that stress, anger, frustration, and fear. All that does is make you feel worse. I'm not saying don't be vigilant about getting things done right, but I'm saying ... let it go.

Eat a cookie. ;)

When Faced with the Choice of a Macaroon or Dog Food...

Just a word of warning to those of you who agonize when faced with very little time, and the choice to be selfish or generous... be selfish. Don't get the dog, dog food. Especially if she's not really in need of another bag for some days yet. These were the things on my mind as I left a little later than I expected to today when I left for work. To macaroon, or not to macaroon. There was only time to stop at one place before getting to work on time. Thus I was faced with a choice. Go to the bakery and get fresh squeezed lemonade and freshly baked moist macaroons, or go get my dog her dog food. Being a good owner, and knowing I'd feel guilty while eating and drinking such items, thereby rendering them imperfect, I went and responsibly got my dog her food.

And was rewarded for this by single-handedly catching a small speeding Subaru Imprezza squarely in my car's trunk. I had no idea that such little cars could reach speeds of Mach 1. There was literally 2 seconds for me to say, ".... oh sh!t..." before the little red speed ball whapped into my back end. Oddly, it was the Imprezza with bigger share of the damage. Its been a long weird day, filled with phone calls to insurance companies, parents, co-workers, the boss, and an auto body shop. Seriously though, I really could have done without my car scrunching experience.

Tomorrow will be fun as well. I get to see the doctor. Again. He can look at my shoulder, which is behaving oddly, and tell me,"Yep. You've strained it. Here, let me throw anti-inflammatory medication at you, and strap you into a sling for two weeks while your muscles recover." Personally, I think this man hates his job, because he smiles too much, and is afflicted with the false cheerfulness you find in an overworked Santa stand-in during the Christmas rush. Its like staring at badly installed veneers. I really need to find a different doctor.

After that, I think Dad and I have to go out to the auto-body shop and talk to them about the car. I'm hoping it won't take long to fix, because frankly, I love my little Honda. I was quite impressed with it. It didn't stall out when it got hit, didn't move forward very much, and kept me pretty damned safe. Strangely, I got hit right outside the Honda dealership I bought it from, and they were so nice. They let me sit in their waiting area while I made all the calls I had to, and checked out my car for me to see if it was safe to drive or not. Which it wasn't. The exhaust assembly is screwed up enough that it might fall off if I drive it.

So, do remember... If you have the choice of getting macaroons or dog food.... GO GET THE COOKIE!!!

FINALLY!!!

It only took me 15 years, but I have managed to get myself an AA degree in Liberal Arts. Most of that time has been used stumbling all over the scholastic chessboard trying to figure out what to focus my attention on. You see, I'm one of these exceedingly disturbed people who would be perfectly happy taking every class I can get my hands on for the rest of my life. Quite honestly I'm wondering if that's possible, because I'd love to have a BA in multiple things. Anthropology, multiple languages, History (and it doesn't matter which. I love it all), and a multitude of other things. I'm still sort of eyeballing Anthropology, or perhaps Archeology as a second choice, but I'm going to go after a BA in Japanese. Took me this long to finally find something that's got my undivided attention... at least for now. Currently I've switched from focusing on school and work, to work and finding a college that has a Japanese language program I like. Not as easy as it sounds.

Since I'm not doing classes all the time now, I've had time to read guilt free! Oh, how I've been reading... and I do apologize for not updating the page as I went, but since I had homework for a dreaded speech class, I was hiding that I was reading too. Silly? Oh yes. But we all have mental quirks, and mine tend to be stranger than average. So, here are the books I read when I shouldn't have been: "On the Edge" by Ilona Andrews, "The Reckoners" by Doranna Durgin (who I thought had quit writing YEARS ago), "Evil Ways" by Justin Gustainis, "Magic in the Shadows" and "Magic on the Storm" by Devon Monk, "Unperfect Souls by Mark del Franco, "Streets of Magic" and "Demon Bound" by Caitlin Kittredge, "Changes" by Jim Butcher, "Fahrenheit 451" Ray Bradbury, "Silver Bourne" by Patricia Briggs and "Tengu: The Mountain Goblin" by John Donohue. I think that does it... I think.... hmm. Okay this list neglects all the Manga series I re-read, and bought... and submerged in to save my sanity this last semester. I hate speech, and I almost literally became someone else in order to deal with it. Sanity saving in the same vein as when I read Piers Anthony's Xanth *trilogy*... hah. I think he's on book 38. But same sort of thing, because back then it was just after a large earthquake, and we were living in a 37 foot motor home in our drive way; our house having been red-tagged. Joyful experience I tell you. Joyful.

Today was sort of a lazy day for me, except for the hour I spent in the dentists chair this morning, where they said,"WOW! You take really good care of your teeth! I barely had to do anything!" This is the part were I beamed from all the praise. Then she said,"Except you'll probably need oral surgery to take care of that pocket near your molar." This is the part where I look like a kicked puppy. "Oh don't worry," she says catching my large fearful eyes,"they'll replace the bone your removed wisdom tooth disintegrated with sterilized pig bone, or cadaver bone." Here's were I stare at the woman in disbelief, while my overly helpful memory provides me with flashbacks to the last time I had surgery in my mouth... which was compounded by the fact that I react badly to certain antibiotics and anti-nausea medication that was prescribed... Lets just say that last June sucked. A lot.

So, in a stupor of resigned panic, I stopped at the local general store and got a nice relaxing horror movie. Yes, I find horror films relaxing. They're so damned predictable. Spooky music, que hero, que companions, que monster/nutcase.... dark setting, blood, gore... loud noises.. more screaming.. etc. No escape. I rented Pandorum, which had a surprisingly good storyline. Well acted, or rather as much as you could expect. I liked it, and would probably watch it again. Sort of like Pitch Black, which I liked as well. In fact I watched that too. Currently, I've switched pace a bit, and am watching a Goofy collection that I bought years ago, but never felt like watching it. It came in a nice silver gift case. I've always liked Goofy.