Numb Space

Its already February, and I seem to be hitting my energy limit. In fact I feel a lot like this shot of "Knuffle Bunny" (its a character from a childrens book by Mo Willems. Highly amusing if you haven't already seen it. For obvious expressions upon the face of Knuffle Bunny, I felt the need to use him as a visual prop.) If you can't figure the expression, its one of stunned overload. Yes, that'd be me. I've reached "Numb Space" which is a catch all phrase for when nothing really touches you, but hovers in an eager satellite swing around my numb field. A feeling that I'm totally loving at the moment. It beats the sheer and all out panic attacks I was suffering last semester. Joy. 

On another note a friend emailed to let me know that they had to put their dog, to sleep today. I've been told of the passing of friend's pets before, but this was different. She was a like a person, always there to greet you at the door, always there to sit up and beg you for scratch her, and I'm sure a hundred other little things that are going to be sorely missed by her 'parents'. I too will miss her, very much. Goodnight Topaz, sleep well.

Schooled

I figured if I didn't post something soon, I'd never get around to it at all. School has started again, and against my better judgement I took the second semester of Japanese. During the first semester I was sure I was going to get either an unpleasant grade, or run wild and insane off into the woods. Oddly neither happened, and all the stuff that never settled to the bottom and made sense during the first semester unexpectedly made sense this semester. I still can't speak Japanese to save my life, but I suspect that it has to do with me being extremely apprehensive about saying the wrong thing. Especially when everyone else doesn't seem to have a problem catching on. I'm just a tinsy bit frustrated with myself. Reading and understanding the language is much easier for me. 

What really makes me nuts though is that my teacher, while he doesn't pick specifically on me anymore, he does tend to pause before asking me a question, and then awaiting my answer. Both are given in Japanese... Except he pauses and will ask me something before the question he asked everyone else. Last night it was, 'pause' "Kon'ban wa." Which means good evening, and I replied in kind. I know how to do that much at least. Then he asked what type of car I have, as in what country is it made in. I responded, stuttering a bit because I don't like doing things wrong, and he nodded and moved on. No Kon'ban wa to the next 4 people. I can't figure out what he's trying to do... Make me feel more comfortable? Assess just how miserable I am at speaking his native tongue? Totally throw me off? Or it could just be that I'm unknowingly giving him a beaten puppy expression when he steps up to me desk. The kid who sits in front of me keeps telling me I worry too much. Maybe I am. *sighs*

The second class isn't nearly so dire. Although the time and day of the class sort of makes for long days on Tuesdays and Thursdays because it falls before work, and the Japanese class is after work. This tends to make days that start at 7a.m. and end close to 10pm. Fun! Not! The second class is Western Civilization, and I'm taking it backwards. The second semester first, so on some things I get a little bit lost, but for the most part I love the class. It helps keep my mental platform from tilting too much when I start panicking over Japanese. Oddly, I understand the homework, and I can write now in katakana and hiragana without too many problems. And Kan'ji at the moment is just pure fun. This will probably change later when my brain melts and more grey cells perish before its lava like cascade from my ears.

I keep telling myself that there are only 13 weeks left... only 13.....

 

CGI

In the past I have not been a fan of CGI stuff. For instance I have an enormous dislike of the movie Beowulf, simply because I couldn't stand the CGI effects that compose the movie. There's something inherently creepy about it. The mistakes or rather tiny unneeded movements that are the nature of the human being, are totally lacking in something computer generated. It makes my hair stand on end. However all is not lost, for the Japanese who make incredible CGI cuts for their games, have begun using this talent for movies based on the same games. Some of the first ones I wasn't all that enthralled with, like the first Final Fantasy movie they made. Could've done without it. The next one I saw was FF Advent Children. While the storyline was thick with plot holes that you probably wouldn't have worried about if you had played all the games (which I haven't, sorry, not an RPG fan for the most part) the CGI had improved markedly, and they'd added things like wind, skin twitches and... well lets just say my hair got to relax. 

So, of course when I saw that they'd done another movie, I snapped it up to see if they'd managed to improve or take a nose dive into computer-perfect-hell. The movie in question? Resident Evil: Degeneration. Now I've played some of the games and enjoyed them immensely, mainly because I get to shoot things indiscriminately in the head. Lowers stress levels for me.. and I like the dark. Heh. Sorry, digressing. This thing was rated R for bloody violence, so I was expecting a blood fest. Um, no. The games are much more caked in crimson. What really surprised me was that not only was the CGI good, but the storyline was tight, with few plot holes and very little side tracking of the sub-plots. The action was fantastic, and quite frankly I would suggest this movie over the live action Resident Evil movies that came out over the last couple of years. Even with voice acting that in some cases could've been a bit improved upon, this was way better. It had characters you recognized from the game and end up liking all the more. New characters were well introduced. And even if you haven't played any of the games, this movie makes it so its enjoyable. Excellent movie, and one I would recommend. 

Five Thumbs Up! (I borrowed some, and yes I gave them back)

Post - poned

You know you're in trouble when the Thank You card from your grandmother (which admittedly is addressed to everyone in the household) thanks everyone for gifts, and then asks if you've come out of your room yet. This has to do with the computer. You see, while I don't spend every waking moment surfing the net, I do tend to spend a lot of time watching Anime online. If I truly wanted to not watch Anime, then I suppose I could drag myself away, but I do so love it. Sometimes I do stop and wonder if its an addiction... I've come to the conclusion that it probably is. But, as far as I know, its not hurting me to watch it during almost every waking moment. That's an overstatement, so don't worry.

What does trouble me is similar to the crap I catch for reading comics. There's this incredible stigma against pictures with words encased in squares. God forbid you should be caught reading one in public. Especially if you're over the age of 20. For reasons unknown, and beyond my ability to fully understand, reading comics is seen as a sign that your intelligence level falls far below the norm. While I am no genius, I would not be someone who could be considered sub-par on the intello-meter. Unfortunately that creeping feeling of wrong doing basically sours my enjoyment of comics, manga and Anime. Which is why I tend to hide in my room for extended periods of time. My laptop works just fine in there, and I hide my ill-gotten comics in there too. 

I would like to know -why- I feel like I'm doing something wrong, because I'm not. Does it make people feel uncomfortable to watch me read a Manga? Does it make you squirm inside watching me watch Anime online or on TV? What is it that makes you think I'm being juvenile just because I still absolutely love cartoons? Superheroes? WHY? Seriously I am confused, and quite honestly the air of disapproval that seeps into the atmosphere is most unappreciated. Okay, now everyone can tell me its all in my head and stop being ridiculous. 

Lastly and on a totally different topic, I would've had mini rant here up on my blog yesterday, but our Internet service tanked. Usually they're on the ball, but I guess this was a large outage, and since they rarely have outages, I have no real issues with them. Having worked for an Internet service provider in the past on the help desk, I've got a lot of sympathy for them over the last couple of days. People are NOT nice when they're Internet goes out. They call you every name in and out of the books, and god forbid you end up with a lawyer on the phone. They will twist everything you say, no matter what it is you said in the first place. That was fun. Okay, so it really wasn't. 

Screwed

So, I've had my laptop for about a week now, and everything is going great! Except for the memory that I'd like to replace, because it would bump it from 2 gigs of memory to 4 gigs. I've got the new chips right here, and I've got a tiny screwdriver that should work... except the screws on the back of this laptop are in there so damned tight they won't budge. This calls for me taking it down to one of the computer stores and asking them to undo the screws, which I'd really rather avoid. Knowing most of these places would probably try and charge me for the use of a tiny screwdriver and their arm. I wonder what that would add up to... $20? Probably more, they'd consider it manual labor. Whatever happened to good old fashion kindness and customer service. You do realize that sometimes customer service IS kindness right? Well, I can but try and see what happens. 

This week, I think I'm going to try and see a movie. Now, the problem with this is that there isn't really anything out there currently that I want to see. I managed to miss the new Bond flick before it disappeared from theaters in my area, and then there was Twilight, which is only at night now and I detest night showings. Too many people in the theater with me. If there were a halfway decent horror film I'd go see that, because most of the populace isn't interested in seeing them at a matinee. What I'd like to see is Gran Torino with Clint Eastwood. He appears to have slipped back into his Dirty Harry persona, which I've always found most amusing, and was last really seen in the Rookie. (Ah, fond memories) Although my guess is that the character will go deeper than that. We shall see. 

Today I think I'm just going to watch some stuff on my computer and finish laundry.  I mean I'm going to go to this wonderful Anime site I found that streams Anime! And other Asian Dramas. At the moment I'm caught up in MARS (Drama side of the site under Taiwan), and probably will be caught up in Tactics later, which can be found on the Anime portion of the site. Oh, I do love this place, and its practically been home for the last few days. YAY! Anyway, I'm going to go enjoy my day off. Happy New Years to everyone! :)

Snow Dog

Everyone asks me at work if I got snow. Yeeesss, we got snow. Lots of snow, piles of snow... right around a foot and a half depending upon your location on the property. In some places it was up to my knees and in others it was mid calf. This was all last week though. My dog loved it! The chickens took one dubious look and disappeared into their hen house. They didn't dine to make an appearance again until the sun came out. My dog unfortunately had had surgery to have a lump removed from her chin (something I should've done long ago, but lacked money. When this took place I still didn't have money, but got it done anyway) which was looking kinda nasty. Hair loss, odd color... *shudder*

But enough about my dog's ex 5th appendage and on to the collar which kept her from scratching the hell out of her stitches. When she went out to potty, off came the collar, and out into the snow she went with glee. Behind her I was being towed. She liked springing though the snow like (sorry in advance for the pun) a bunny. Goof ball. Basically she loves the snow and I went and made it so she couldn't go running around in it. Very disappointing for the poor beast.

This morning I got a pleasant surprise when I arrived at work. A friend I hadn't seen for a while was waiting for me there. She tried hiding so it'd be a surprise when she jumped out. Except I recognized her car before I saw her standing up there with her son. So I parked the car leaned out the door and said,"Hi (insert a name)!" At which point she cracked up. That was quite fun and a much appreciated visit. Lots of laughing and catching up. Friends I don't see often are always welcome to show up and say hi. :)

Over the next few days I plan on doing nothing, but sleeping, playing on my computer and... maybe watching a few movies... oh, and maybe seeing if I can get the new memory cards installed on the computer. Oh joy. 

Computer Next

Okay, so I've been gone for a long long time and I'm not apologizing. Once your beloved laptop dies, and you go into computer with-drawl, its very hard to sit down with another computer and start up a relationship. Especially when its not your computer. Thankfully I got a new computer for Christmas, (thank you very much to my Uncle!!) so I continue to completely massacre this blog much to the entertainment of whoever reads this. 

Alas there won't immediately be pictures, or maybe there will be. I'll just have to get my hands on the other computer with all the photos on it. I'd put them on here, but Mac in its vast wisdom neglected to put iPhoto into the bundle with Leopard. Somewhere along the lines I will have to find a Mac compatible photo management program, otherwise I can't use my library of wallpaper, or put up pictures from this laptop. *sighs* Don't get me wrong, I am totally thrilled to have my own computer, but why in hell can't computer companies get their act together and put in a decent bundle? As in everything a user might need? Basics man, BASICS!! But no, I have to get a separate bundle ... with only one item I want on it. It'll cost lots of money too. Idiots.

Aside from that my life is been fairly normal. Work is still work, school is still school... Well there is the fact that I got myself a new car. No, you don't get to know what it is. I will say its small and black and brand spanking new. Very fun to drive, and I feel fairly safe in it compared to the purple monster I used to drive. Which attempted to commit suicide by dying in front of a speeding UPS truck. I think that was probably the last straw as far as death defying escapades for me and my purple steed. Sorry oh purple wonder, but as much as I liked you, I was tired of constantly mainlining adrenaline. 

For those of you... 'few' who actually read this, it was a wonderful Christmas. Got the computer, got an electric blanket, and got my aquarium, and yes, I'll post pictures as soon as its up and running.  And I got some extremely good tea as well. Such good stuff. I find myself swilling it much too fast. Yes, I'll slow down, but its soooooo good. YUM!! Now if only we hadn't forgotten to bring the left over food from dinner last night home. Right now I could be enjoying a ham sandwich, with a side of stuffing and jello salad. But... we forgot the box. Currently its languishing in my second cousins outside fridge. This means the care package will have to be rescued. I think Dad was given this vital job. 

Hopefully he will succeed. :)