Thursday, May 12, 2016

.... I'm really not good at blogging am I?

It's been yet another year at least since I last sat down and wrote on this thing. In that time I finished a double BA degree through the university I was attending, and went home. Basically I have taken the year off to rest, because by the time I got home I was fried. Emotionally, physically, everything. Just fried. So I have been enjoying home, spending time with my parents, my dog and trying to figure out what to do next. 

Logically that would be going and getting a Masters degree which was the next stage in the process, but even after a year I'm having a hard time getting excited about it. Jobs are the other option and although they do get me interested I have this feeling that I don't want to take the ones I'm looking at yet. I suspect it's because I tend to like applying for a job that's a sure hire. Never liked gambling and being unsure of where I would land. 

There are things that I know I want my future to involve. I love to travel. I like going to places I've never been before and meeting the people there, seeing the sites, trying the food. I don't mind sitting in airports for hours or days. I don't mind getting smashed into an economy class seat. It's worth it all getting off the plane on the other side and seeing something completely different. 

Whatever it is I do, it needs to involve photography or art or something along those lines because I get dead inside when I'm not creating something, or capturing things on a film. I get listless and weird even to myself. And I found out how much I love using a manual film loading camera while I was at Uni. It was the scariest damned class I took while I was there, and it turned out to be the most rewarding. 

When I'm not traveling, I need to have quiet. No Tv, no loud neighbors... no roommates. No one picking at me about things. This does not mean I don't want company at times, but I found out that I need to be on my own while I was away at Uni. It wasn't a situation where I needed quiet to work on papers or do research, it is a NEED. A MUST HAVE. Otherwise I get wickedly mean, and say things I don't intend to say, just to drive people off. I used to be able to deal with that feeling. Stash it away, so I wouldn't hurt anyone's feelings. Completely lost that ability now.

Lastly, whatever job I do get, it's got to be one where I function on my own, or with a few people I can work with. Otherwise it will be a total disaster. I'll end up miserable, my job performance will sink into the floor, and I'll either quit or I'll get fired. I can honestly tell an employer that if they have a deep dark basement that is full of stuff in need of archiving, recording, sorting, etc, you can dump me down there and I will get it done while you go have a life. I will be fine, and the job will get done.  It gotten to be a dream of mine to get hired at a huge museum somewhere that had a basement of junk no one bothered to catalog because it was all coming in too fast. 

You want someone to do that? I'm your person!

Human interaction is not required in my job search. 

I guess everyone was waiting to hear how my time in Japan went, or how I liked living in Australia, but although I loved Japan, and want to go back, I don't really want to talk about it because it was both AMAZING and ... kinda awful. So, in short, I love Japan. The people are wonderful and kind and I miss the friends I made there. I will be going back to visit when I get the money and the time, but don't count on a post about it. 

Australia. If I EVER get a chance to live and work there, I will do it. Hands down. I miss everything about it. Friends, climate, food, ... just everything. It's been over a year and I still wake up homesick. Then again if certain people get elected to certain offices I will be leaving. Post haste.

For now I'm just in a sort of limbo until I figure things out. Not the cheeriest of posts, but I'm not feeling particularly cheerful. I'm fine though, just grumpy. LOL!

Smirkles :) 

No comments: