Sunday, June 16, 2013

Post exam exhaustion

Okay. I'm alive and I think I managed to survive all my classes. Maybe. 
Japanese is going to be iffy, because we had a LOT thrown at us last minute and frankly its such a mishmash in my head I'm not sure what I know anymore. 
And I know for a fact I didn't do well on my Aural or Oral testing for Japanese. I was okay for the first few words and then it went totally out of control. Like someone sending one of those old fashion wooden fruit carts down a flight of stairs. It starts out slow, with a few bumps, and then it gains momentum... and by the end, there's fruit laying everywhere, smashed, broken, bruised, with one bent cartwheel spinning without much energy above the entire mess, as if trying to figure out what had just happened.

Yes, that was basically how the Aural exam (listening test) went for me... and we will not speak of the Oral exam in which I participated in a skit with my group, and then supposedly answered questions one on one with the teacher. I say supposedly because I can't remember anything after the skit.

At all. 


My mind is apparently like a dry erase board. 
If the brain can't handle it, then it gets swept from my memory. Either that or it's being harbored in one of the many cupboards of my mind until I can handle looking at it, which I seriously doubt because that hasn't happened yet. It's just gone.

In the meantime.... 

from the ever popular meme cheezeburger site; seemed fitting.

I will be sleeping lots, because I have been running on no sleep for a LONG time now, and my diet has  been... awful so to speak. There was an entire week were I ate nothing but carrots because I was too busy studying. It was also because I hadn't had time to get to the store in the last 4 weeks. Yesterday I managed to go and get food. Actual food. As in food groups that involved more than fruit and veggies, which is good for the most part, but it does odd things to my insides after a while. 

So, I shall be eating correctly starting this week, and sleeping whenever I feel like I need a nap, because honestly I'd like to stop feeling like the walking dead. My friends here just tell me to drink coffee...

My response?

Also courtesy of cheezeburger meme. Also appropriate.

Yeah.. that's about the long and the short of it.
I am beyond tired and I think I broke my brain. It really does hurt to think, so I'm giving it time to recover, before I reintroduce it to the first 4 chapters of my Japanese text book. I will be damned if I go back into my classes next semester feeling like a total moron. Okay, so there exist materials that could prove that I do have aspects of moron-ness within my personality, but I'd really like to curb that particular tendency.

Shockingly, I had 3 other classes this semester, which for some reason, don't seem as important at the moment. But they are, especially if I didn't pass one of them. The one that was giving me fits for most of the semester was Photography. This was not the simple digital thing, this was the manual, load the film, set the ISO, set the aperture, set the shutter speed... and hope the blasted little green light for the internal light meter lights up green. I got to develop my own film. I got to print my own film. I got to spent appalling amounts of time doing prints... It's insanely time consuming. 

And I like doing it all.  

I would've loved doing this class alone, by itself, without any other distractions. But I need a full course load, so.. it was taken as an elective and it turned into a monster, because it's like two units rolled into one. Never doing that again. But sometime in the future when I have time, I would love to come back to it. By the end I was doing really well in it. And the teacher was not happy when I said I wasn't doing the next course in photography. I just can't. I don't have that much free time on my hands. 

My other two classes were fine. One was a history class on criminal underworlds and the other was a humanities class about being more... open minded towards the rest of the world. Basically the entire course was on Cosmopolitanism. Which is nice, but ... somewhat boring after a while.
I think I did alright in both of these classes and I'm not too worried.

Photography I already know my grade it, so I'm not worried about that one at all.

Japanese... *sighs* I really love learning this language, but I don't think I did well at all this time around.

Aw well. If I failed it, I just go home. 

.... i hate giving up though. 


callie brady said...

Wow! You sound so tired... I hope you are napping and eating better now. Things won't seem so bleak when you are rested. I'm rooting for you to get a great grade in Japanese, but coming home would not be a bad thing. Besides, I miss you. (Happy Face)

diane b said...

Studying can sure muddle your brain and make you dead tired. I hope you do well.

Little Messy Missy said...

Glad you are eating more then just carrots. You should post some of the pics you took for your class. Sorry about the Japanese. My father speaks it and said it was the hardest language to learn. He had to just go there for a few years to really understand it. Maybe see if there is a Japanese student club at your school that would let you sit in and listen to them. Don't give up. You'll get it.